Room 418, Sunday Morning

[wrongkindofsith]

After she'd made her way back to her room the night before, the second thing Cara had done (the first being getting all the muck cleaned off 'Richard') had been to swap her leathers for the shirt the human-shaped Richard had managed to leave behind during Parent's Weekend and collapsed into a deep, but not dreamless sleep.

During the night, she'd burrowed under the covers and drawn up into a tight ball, her hands and feet tucked away where nothing could get at them. Apart from her rapid breathing, she made no sound as her eyes darted back and forth under closed lids.

You were always my favourite, Cara. That's why I chose you.


[For the puppy who is not actually named Richard.]

Comments

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara wouldn't have blamed him if he had pushed her away. "I didn't mean it like that."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

A smarter boy who wasn't in love with her might have. "So how did you mean it?"

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara was grateful he was pressed against her back, it was easier to find the right words when she wasn't looking directly at him. "I know you'd want to." The same way she knew that Richard would stop for single every lost kitten up a tree no matter how much valuable time it wasted. "But I also know what happens when you believe that someone will come to rescue you and then they don't."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

"But someone had to rescue you," Clark said, not having been at his peak mentally when Cara and company had shown up. "You're here, aren't you?"

[wrongkindofsith]

If Cara wasn't, then this was one occasion she'd pick an illusion over reality. "This time someone came."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

The way she said 'this time' worried Clark. He knew Cara had issues, that was obvious enough from how unwilling she'd been to accept that he believed in her. "What happens when they don't?"

[wrongkindofsith]

The words came by rote. "Take away a person's hope and they're that much easier to break."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Clark gulped, "Did you have hope?" And he'd failed. Failed epically, really.

[wrongkindofsith]

"I don't know." It mightn't have been a satisfying answer but it was an honest one. "It's complicated. But it's not the only thing that can keep you from breaking."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Clark had been used to people calling for him when things got rough and then he'd arrived in Fandom and all that was just...lost. "What else is there?"

[wrongkindofsith]

"You can make places in your mind," Cara explained. "Fill them with thoughts of family, friends. You can go to these places." When the pain became too much even for a Mord'Sith.

"You can use them to remind you that even if they don't want you, you still have a duty to them, that you still want them."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

The words to explain just how much he still needed and wanted her were not forthcoming, but hugs were. After saying that, Cara might need to remind Clark that people do need to breathe, because he just couldn't seem to hug her tightly enough.

[wrongkindofsith]

Well, it wasn't the first time someone had choked Cara out of affection, even if she didn't know why they kept doing it. "Clark," she managed after longer than was perhaps wise. "Air."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

"Oh!" Clark relaxed his arms immediately, leaning over her shoulder to see if he'd hurt her at all. "Sorry, sorry! Are you okay?"

[wrongkindofsith]

"I'm fine." Shifting in his arms so she didn't have to twist her head to look at him, Cara reached up to stroke his face. "I don't blame you for not coming."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

"I would have, you know," Clark told her, blue eyes saddened by his inability. "Usually nothing can stop me."

[wrongkindofsith]

"I know that." And she really didn't know how that made her feel. "It wasn't that bad, considering."

She had a basis for comparison.

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

"No?" That made him feel maybe a hair better. "I remember you seeming sad when I finally found you." Feelings were really all he could remember.

[wrongkindofsith]

"I didn't know you were the puppy." Which was as close as she was going to come to admitting it had hurt when it looked like he wasn't there when she got out.

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

"And still you brought me home and cleaned me up," Clark pointed out, like he believed somehow she had known.

[wrongkindofsith]

"Because you were small and had no business being on your own." And were also adorable, but she wasn't going to mention that. "I was also going to name you Richard."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Clark smiled more brightly. "You must have really liked me."

[wrongkindofsith]

That got something close to a smile. "Yes, I did."

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Clark leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad you're back. And not trapped in some freaky dream."

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara pressed in closer against him, sliding an arm around his waist. "I'm glad you're here," she admitted.