Cara's Apartment, Saturday Morning

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara was not having a good day. Yesterday had been...unpleasant, the incident at the Onsen being followed by fleeting, yet vivid apparitions of things she'd done, things done to her, and more appearances of that other version of herself, ready with a cutting comment, a quick fist, or a quicker agiel, the embodiment of an ideal Mord'Sith. Of course, that wasn't the worst of it, it wasn't like she hadn't learnt to endure either physical or verbal blows long before. The other other her, the nine year old who who didn't say a word but just stood there looking at her, that she'd had little defence against.

Then she'd woken up, and, well, given she'd spent years beating down and repressing every single scrap of her natural inclinations towards empathy and compassion as a survival tactic, it wasn't entirely a surprise that she'd ended up pressed defensively in a corner, back to the wall, hands against her temples in a futile attempt to keep some, any of it out.

Comments

[harpy-daughter.livejournal.com]

"You were already strong; they wouldn't have taken you if you weren't," Surreal pointed out bluntly. "Mord'Sith don't like their toys to break easily, from what I've gathered."

"She's hard and angry and cruel too," Tiny-Surreal pointed out helpfully. "It's what I made her. We're the knife-edge, and she's really only happy when she's killing."

"I'm happiest when killing," Surreal corrected her younger-self absently. "--because it's what they've earned."

[wrongkindofsith]

"I don't feel strong," Cara admitted. "Unless I'm fighting."

"You deserve to be happy at other times too." Because it wasn't like Surreal was trying to make a remotely similar point about her or anything.

[harpy-daughter.livejournal.com]

"That's the pot calling the kettle black! I'm happy other times too!" Surreal objected, and Tiny-Surreal folded her arms.

"People think there's something wrong with us, that we like knives and murder so much," the small version said with a frown.

[wrongkindofsith]

"Good," Cara said, not address the whole pot-kettle part. There was a reason why Kahlan had decided it'd be more effective to talk to Surreal about her concerns than Cara.

"There's nothing wrong with you." It was debatable whether it was the presence of their tiny selves or just her general down-ness that kept her from mentioning that the knives and violence were actually highly attractive. "It's not like you've hurt anyone who didn't deserve it."